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When their children went social/emotional off to college... they went "hogwild" because all of a sudden this freedom that, was never there, was opened up to them. I believe that we must teach our children our beliefs and values, show them our believes and values, and trust that we have installed them into our children. I agree, but I think putting ALL of that trust in a 14 year old is a huge social/emotional mistake. I think it is our job as parents social/emotional to protect our children from themselves until they are 'adults'. You wouldn't let her walk down the street in the middle of a 'bad' part of town by herself at night, would you? To me, protecting them from stuff like that, giving them definite limits, is no different than protecting them from being put in a situation where they HAVE to make the decision whether or not to have sex. If you, or another adult that you trust, is not with her then you are risking putting her, your CHILD (regardless of how mature or 'good' she is, she's still just a baby), into a potentially damaging situation.
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