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Dragging her to this would not help, but having her understand that you are in partnership with her to ensure her safety as well as your peace of mind probably will. Now I'm going to suggest a really female STRANGE book to read that might help you learn to female negotiate this process. It's a business book called "The Goal", by Eliyahu (?) Goldratt. It is a novel about manufacturing processes. No, really! And more strangely, it's very readable--even enjoyable! The reason I think that female it's useful in this case is that it talks about identifying what your goal is, and how to figure out where your bottlenecks are in the process. Even better is the second book, called "It's Not Luck." In that one, they set out some really powerful "thinking processes" that can help you identify a conflict, and see where seemingly irreconcilable differences can be shifted, if you can identify incorrect assumptions. The two together are actually pretty amazing, and there are several occasions when the examples used are from the protagonist's family life, so it's even clear how to apply it outside of the business world.
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